"A Wrathful man stirreth up strife, but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife."
- Proverbs 15:18
Living with D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is no easy task. For the most part many of us hear voices inside us talking constantly. We hear our alters taking about their likes, dis-likes or personal interest. Many of us with D.I.D. have the ability to switch on demand, and then there are times where certain situations, people or circumstances cause us to shift personalities with little or no warning.
Those of us with D.I.D. can have as little as 10 personalities, or as many as 40. We have babies, toddlers, young ones, teenagers, those who are home makers, workers in our system, animal alters, spiritual alters etc.
It’s also through my understanding that some of us with D.I.D. have angry alters, suicidal alters or sometimes those referred to as challenging alters.
Speaking for my-self, I have quite a few challenging alters and I’ll list them by name. They are Ezekiel, Zechariah, Peyton, Michelle, The Ghost and two whose names are better left unsaid.
When my challenging alters surface it’s usually because there in a new environment, they are around someone they don’t feel safe with, a topic of conversation is viewed as a threat to them, or some one has walked up to us hugging us without asking permission first. (Many of us with D.I.D. struggle with touch in general).
When an angry alter surfaces they may be present (out) for minutes, hours, days, weeks or even years. Usually there displeasure over circumstances and situations is taken out on every one around them.
Speaking for my-self (Nicole Elizabeth) I know that when two of my angry alters Peyton and Michelle are out, I (the dominant personality) feel like I have no control over what they say or do.
They’ll lie, manipulate others, call people names, slam doors, attempt to control others by being mean then acting charming later. They’ll do whatever means necessary to win others to there side. In fact, I think Peyton and Michelle have loads of bitterness in them to last forever.
Yet in reality, is living with D.I.D. and having angry alters in me helpful? When an angry alter surfaces and lashes out at others, am I displaying the ways of the enemy and mortal man, or am I displaying the love of God?
Yes, I’m giving into wrath, I’m setting my-self up for attacks from the enemy. I’m even reminded that no one likes the bitter person. After all, a life of bitterness leads down one lonely mountain.
Instead with both life in general and the D.I.D. life we (not just me Nicole Elizabeth) need to leave our wrath, anger and bitterness at the cross of Calvary. We need to be slow to get angry, to think of how to respond to situations in love rather than in anger.
For the individual with D.I.D. when an angry alter surfaces, perhaps it’s best to search with in ourselves to reason with our inner family till the anger subsides, or even walk away the situation for the time being. After all, angry words can hurt people, but words spoken in love last a life time.
Dear God: Please help all of us with D.I.D. to better manage and communicate our anger effectively. Help us to live our lives for you 24/7. A men