Experience Life With Depersonalization Disorder

All Blog information is written not by Mental health Specialist and is thoughts and experience by those with DID only.  

Depersonalization disorder results in a feeling of being detached from life or body.   It can be a symptom of another disorder, such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and, or panic disorder. For me I  always felt detached from my body. I begin to become more aware of life, seeking to understand connections and feelings of  joy and hope.  I become more and more co-concussion in my recovery.  I am stepping out of denial. The denial of the pain, rejection, abandonment and the hurts of my childhood.  Realizing the life I had and the new  life I now have are separate.

As I sat across my doctor, telling me that I needed to be aware of my body the overwhelming desire to do just that consumed me. I  shifted, wondering what will that look like , as if  I almost had a grasp on the reality of the world I live in. Longing to be whole, longing to know the feeling of a body, I see but cannot feel or connect with most of the time. The feeling of sensations of  pain but also pleasure come and go. It is like  turning on a faucet, but then it turns off within moments. I am thankful that my doctor was not asking me what was wrong with me, as I ask myself that on a consisted bases. Questioning myself and wondering..It can also be scary at times, not connecting with myself or others. I find I watch myself as if I am in a mirror. I  can be very sensitive or withdrawn completely from reality. I once read somewhere that a person with depersonalization disorder are not satisfied with life, always longing for something they can not seem to grasp. I completely disagree. I love my home, husband and  the friends that support me. I do not want to run off to some island to have an adventure, while it may seem nice of course but  it is  not a longing that I  have . Most of my life I longed for stability and consistency. I am very grateful that I have that today. Depersonalization takes work to overcome. Thoughts are a big key to recovery   Leo Tolstoy.   said “Thoughs is the beginning of everything. And thoughts can be controlled. Therefore the main thing in self improvement is working on your thoughts.” by doing this  I come out as the  winner, a better person,  strong and confident.

Another key is our spiritual walk-  in the Holy Bible it says In Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world,but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  Taken time for meditating is a way to help renew our mind each day to reflect on the positive changes that are happen in our life.