In The Beginning

Hi all, my name is Nicole Elizabeth, I’ve been wanting to contribute to this blog for a long time but have never been sure on what to say or write. Every time I’ve attempted to start an entry I’m faced with the questions…. Should I introduce my-self then share my own victories or struggles associated with D.I.D.?  Do I dive right in talking about a recovery topic known to the D.I.D. community? Do I focus on statistics and the like? Well after much consideration I thought I’d start at the beginning then branch out from there, so here’s a little bit about me.

As stated already my name is Nicole Elizabeth. I was diagnosed with D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder) in the spring of 2014. To be more exact I was actually diagnosed with D.I.D. on April 30 (my birthday).

I had been in therapy prior for 7 years working on issues associated with my sexual abuse but that day my D.I.D. would be brought to the surface in therapy when I had a body memory that advanced fast to a full blown melt down, resulting in me screaming, yelling, throwing myself on the therapy couch then engaging in chair acrobatics where I go on my tummy, hide my face with a pillow and start crying.

The melt down lasted a full 30 minutes. I kept on screaming….’Let me go, let me go.’ By the time I was brought back to the present I had no recollection of what had happened. No idea what I was screaming about or that my therapist had been calling for me but got no response till he gave us a 5 minute count down and me Nicole Elizabeth came back to reality.

I remember when my therapist told me that day I had D.I.D.  It was a little bit of a surprise to me, but immediately I started reading every book I could get my hands on about Dissociative Identity Disorder and his diagnosis made complete sense to me.

In the last two years since my D.I.D. has been brought to the surface I’ve met others through An Infinite Mind who have dissociative identity disorder. I’ve become involved in Face Book groups where I’ve met others like me, and most of all I’ve attended local support groups in my community geared towards D.I.D. It’s through these groups that I’ve learned I’m a human being not a psychology project or some one to be experimented on.

As I contribute to this blog I hope to share more about my hurts, hang ups, struggles, challenges and victories associated with my D.ID.  The message I hope to get across is that we are never alone; we all have a story worth hearing and deserved to be listened too.

Till next time,

Nicole Elizabeth